Let me break down the contest for you. Travis Rice invites 16 of the best riders in the world to Jackson. Then he proceeds to break them off one by one on a mechanical bull the night before the contest. This was the determining factor on who gets to begin choosing the starting order for day one.
Guch trying his hardest to not get broken. JESSE BROWN photo
Clancy. I think he broke his thumb. JESSE BROWN photo
Romain. Ever see the volleyball scene from TOP GUN? Same here. ESKA photo
Rice. Fingering the crowd. ESKA photo
The panel of lovely judges. ESKA photo
The Man of the night. Mark Carter. Taking First Place in the Bull riding event.
WILLIE Photo
So Carter took first, Travis took second. And for third? Who cares? Just kidding GIGI
After travis breaks everyone off on the bull, he then proceeds to break them off at the bar.
We all head over to the World famous Cowboy Bar to watch Jamie Lynn's band tear off our ears and shove them up our asses. They seriously rip.
Jamie Lynn. Not only is he a judge, but he's also a member. (of the band) WILLIE photo
JESSE BROWN photo
Jamie's Drummer. WILLIE photo
Jamie called us all on stage. We were supposed to sing with him, but none of us knew the words to "wake me up before you go go". JESSE BROWN photo
Sammy's hair. JESSE BROWN photo
Colin and Jamie. JESSE BROWN photo
More moshing. JESSE BROWN photo
Does this look like a recipe for a nap? ESKA photo
Mike Parillo and the foul mouthed announcer. ESKA photo
Colin was pumped. WILLIE photo
WILLIE photo
Sammy aint cuttin his hair for the man. WILLIE photo
Tom Burt and Kramer. Two of the nicest dudes known to man. Tom is a judge. WILLIE photo
Gigi and PCP. WILLIE photo
Romain. With his shirt on. WILLIE photo
Me and Circe. Before I ruined the contest. Looks like she's almost stoked to see me.
OK. Enough with the party photos. Let's move onto day one. Which you might have heard, I ruined. Now let's be honest. Who in their right mind would give me a mic in front of hundreds of people? Not me. Worst idea ever? Or best? They thought putting me with Todd Richards to announce the contest was smart. What the hell were they thinking? When you hire Willie McMillon to announce a contest, you're not gonna get Tony Danza. Basically, I cussed up a storm. Jeff Moran counted 11 "F bombs". I also said something about jamming cinnamon toothpicks in your boner hole. But I think the best quote was.........Drum role please.........
Todd----"Stay classy Jackson Hole"
Willie----"Go fuck yourself JH"
Let's just say that comment didn't really go over with "the man". ESKA photo
Todd laughed, he cried, he wished I was never born. ESKA photo
Lando has a mean ass method. JESSE BROWN photo
Guch right before breaking himself off on the infamous "Terje Booter" JESSE BROWN photo
Guch. What he describes as the worst pain he's ever known. JESSE BROWN photo
Clancy was tearing shit up. JESSE BROWN photo
Clancy was taking some sweet lines off the catwalk. ESKA photo
Clancy big air through the trees. ESKA photo
Your trusty foul mouthed announcer signing off. I am still waiting to find out if I got fired from the event. I mean what the hell did they expect? It's like giving me a grenade and then getting mad at me when I blow up a small village.
I would like to formally say sorry to anyone who I offended or made lose their job. Especially Wink INC, Circe Wallace, Lisa Watson, all the parents, 3 yr old kids, and the Jackson Hole Mountain Resort. I won't however apologize for being who I am.
My bad.
Current standings...
1st-Travis Rice
2nd- Mark Landvik
3rd- Mark Carter
STAY TUNED....
