If you are like us, then your desire for the season to start has only been multiplied by this exhausting political shitshow. While resorts have slowly been opening across the states, we also understand that for some of you the sweet escape of snow sliding may still not come soon enough. That’s why this week we decided to shift gears slightly and bring you some products for those seeking a wilderness refuge from heated Facebook discussions and election fatigue. Welcome to the seventh installment of Provisions: Get The Hell Outta Dodge Edition. For all things snowboarding, we direct you to our Product Collection, and be sure to check back next week for another curated selection of our favorite snowboarding products from 2017.
Dakine Team Heli Pro 20L Bag
The Dakine Team Heli Pro 20L pack is a snowboarder’s dream bag. This highly convertible pack is the ultimate multi-use bag, with everything from a padded laptop pocket, to hydration compatibility and an avy shovel pocket. It even comes with an attached safety whistle, for when you wander too far from camp and need assistance returning to your pop-up community of fellow refugees.
BioLite CampStove Bundle
This thing is crazy. The BioLite CampStove Bundle might be the future of camping amenities. Grill, boil, cook, and charge all in one with this compact one-stop-shop. Even crazier, the BioLite stove is wood burning—so fuel is always free, and it operates hyper-efficiently with performance on par with that of white gas stoves. Crazier yet, the wood stove is smokeless and can boil water and cook meals in just mere minutes. If you are planning to fall off the grid or considering ducking out into wilderness, don’t make the leap without first copping the BioLite CampStove Bundle.
The North Face Assault 2 Tent
Need to spend some time splitboarding away from the constraints of society? The North Face Assault 2 tent is the shelter to have when high alpine or winter camping. As one of the top tents in The North Face’s Summit series, the Assault 2 is designed with a state of the art ventilation and breathability system to withstand high winds. When the wind is whipping, the tent will backfill itself so as to equalize pressure and stability, no need to fear any Wizard of Oz relocation scenarios.
Bear Grylls Ultimate Fixed Blade Knife
Have the same knife as your favorite TV Survival Star! You won’t find Bear Grylls out in the woods without this bad larry. The Ultimate 4.8″ Fixed Blade Knife from Gerber and Bear Grylls comes outfitted with a whistle, flint, and sharpener, making this the knife to have when you decide you have had enough and send it into the woods. Who cares if he is a total hack!? Buy this knife if you want to feel like a true survivor, maybe buy this one if you actually decide to drop off the map.
Poler Cyclops Headlamp
Headlamps are great and have an abundance of uses even if you still live around society. For instance when the power goes out, or you get a flat tire at night, or you are bringing your dog for a walk at night in the park. Whether you decide to stick around or hit the road, the Cyclops from Poler Stuff has you covered. Outfitted with an adjustable strap, angle, and three different light settings, the Cyclops is pretty much the same as any other headlamp, except this one makes you look like a cyclops, and we think that would probably come in handy if you drop off the grid.
Atlas Survival Shelter
This is the real deal here folks. Not only can you completely leave society, but you won’t even need to see the light of day again if you don’t want to. Sick of your neighbor’s politics and his damn dog peeing on your lawn? Well, now you don’t have a lawn! These things are downright badass, and come with either a silver, camouflage, or yellow exterior—we haven’t figured out why, seeing as they are buried in the ground—but the color choice is among our favorite features. It is also the most expensive basic survival shelter we were able to find, but worry not, you might as well spend all of your money before exiting society.
Katafanga Island
You know that $25 mill that you have just had sitting around? You can thank us later because thanks to Provisions, now you have something to spend it on. (We will be accepting small cottages or bath houses as a thank you.) Katafanga Island is perfect for the individual who has finally said, “Fuck this, I’m out.” Located in Fiji, and sporting one of the funnest island names to say, we think this is the spot to hunker down for the foreseeable future. Unfortunately the climate is quite tropical and we have heard pretty poor snow reports from recent years, but hey, beaches are always nice.
Check out more in The Product Collection 2017
